Weight ain't nothin' but a number.....

Scales are bad!  They make you feel bad about yourself.  I think there is some sort of government conspiracy behind them.  I'm just not sure how to prove it.

Supposedly, the ideal weight for a woman of my age and my height is 140.  I think I literally laughed out loud at that.  The minimum is 115, the maximum is 159.   Ouch, that hurt!  So I've got a ways to go before I'm at the "maximum".  And seriously?  115?  I'd be a bobblehead doll for sure.  That doesn't seem even remotely healthy.  But at least I have something to strive for.  140 here I come!  Oh wait, that would require me to use a scale.  Since I'm boycotting them, that's a problem.  Yay me, there are lots of ways out there to calculate how fat I am!

Recent research says that a woman's waist should not be above 35 inches.  Ideally, a woman's waist should be 30 inches or less.  Oh dear.  That is definitely going to be a problem.  Have you ever taken one of those tape measure thingys and made a circle that's only 30 inches?  Its so freakin tiny!  Recently on The Talk, Sara Gilbert said her waist is 24 inches!  What the....  I'm pretty sure she's not human.

I need a way to track progress, so I've decided to go with measurements.  So I'll start with Bust.  Now that number is not too bad.  I wouldn't mind going down in inches.  However this is the area that most women lose weight first and that's not always a good thing.  But not too bad. 

Now, on to Waist.  Um, that number can't be correct.  Maybe I should re-measure.  I'm going to try at the smallest part of my waist.  Which is where???  Maybe its under that roll.  Oh yeah, there it is!  And that did not help.  I'm getting discouraged. 

Let's just move on to hips.  Holy mother of Gumby, that is not good.  That is Kardashian-esque.  Aren't they supposed to be hot?  Does that mean I'm hot?  Do I have to start spelling everything with a K now?  That seems kontemptible and konvoluted.  This did not go quite as I expected.  Now what?

Time for the positive spin!  (My hubby will be so proud.)  I've got a starting point!  There's only one way to go from here.  Up!  No, wait, down.  Ok, whatever.  There's only one way to go: skinnier.  I kan do this!

Has anyone else done their measurements and been kompletely disappointed?  If so, fill me in!

We are moving on to week 3 of "Couch to 5k"!  It starts getting hard from now on.  I'll be sure to fill you in on that koming up soon!