Wow its been a long time since I've been on here. Who has time to blog???? Its been tough just to find the time to do everyday things. *sigh* :-) I'll try to do better.
Life sure has changed since I was last on here. I was so full of dreams and aspirations. And then reality came crashing down around me.
My running career came to a screeching halt. I developed a baker's cyst for the thousandth time. (No I don't have a tendency to exaggerate.) It prevented me from reaching some of those major goals. My doctor recommended taking it very easy. She actually thinks I shouldn't be a runner. Psshht! Guess that medical school doesn't teach you everything. So I had to slow down. I did take some time off to keep my knee elevated. Then I tried to ease back in by walking and doing some Wii Zumba.
I also found a new love. INSANITY!!!! Ohmygoodnessgracious is that a work out and a half! The day I finally completed my first full workout was amazing. I think I was more proud of that than any other workout achievement. Just when I felt good enough to get back to running, my life changed.
Auto-immune disease: what does that mean anyways??? Can anyone explain it??? (The answer to that question is a resounding NO!) I received the diagnosis that I've probably needed since 2005: Crohn's disease.
Ok, in all reality, its not a death sentence. Its not cancer. Its not AIDS. Its not MS. Its something that I can totally live with. But for a short time, I wasn't sure I wanted to. I'll spare you all the incredibly yucky, incredibly embarrassing details. But its truly something that, while it impacts my life, it won't end it. At least not yet. Yes, while I'm currently in a flare-up, its not the worst flare-up I've ever had. But wow did it change things.
I can't quite put into words what its done to me. Or even what its done to my husband. And honestly, no one wants to hear someone else whine and complain. So I'm done. This is my new reality. This is my life. Its time to deal. So here I go. Time to get back on the wagon. I walked 2 miles on Tuesday. Woohoo! I am so not ready to run yet. But just being out there gave me that desire, stoked that fire. And I'm ready to go.
This is my brand shiny new world. Its not what I ever imagined, dreamed, or wanted. I was destined for great things, and even greater happiness. But its not coming my way. But that's life. Its time to buck up, suck it up, and run like the wind.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Friday, May 13, 2011
Mother knows best!
Or does she??? Mother/daughter relationships are so complicated. I don't know anyone who doesn't love her mother, even though she drives her absolutely insane. My bestie talks on the phone to her mom everyday. Then she complains to me how her mom is crazy and critical. "So why talk to her everyday?" I ask. She looks at me like I'm out of my mind.
But honestly, its something I don't understand. To say my relationship with my mom is complicated is an understatement. There are times I think we couldn't be more different. Then I think we couldn't be more alike. I love her. I genuinely do. I just wish....well, I wish a lot of things. However that's another very long post for a very long blog.
That mother of mine, she did teach me some invaluable lessons. She taught me to always wear a nude bra when wearing a white shirt. Uber important and more women need to learn that lesson. She taught me hitting my sister doesn't end the argument, it escalates it. Mom taught me her incredibly delicious potato salad recipe. Its top secret so don't even ask for it. But most importantly, she taught me ice cream heals all wounds.
Tuesday was one of the worst days I've ever had at my current job. I literally went to the bathroom, sat on the floor and cried. I don't believe in crying at work; it gets you no where. But that day, it couldn't be helped. So I wallowed in self pity for as long as I could without getting in trouble, dusted myself off, and did my job. Then 9:30 came around and I knew what I needed to do: walk straight to Cold Stone, order me a Gotta Have It sized Birthday Cake remix and watch my problems melt away.
But no.....my loving husband had another idea. "Let's go for a run," he says to me with a completely straight face. "Let's do what? Oh no, I don't even think so," is my delicate reply. He proceeds to tell me how it'll make me feel better. "I have rejected 95% of what my mama taught me. But if there is one thing I'm going to hold onto, its that ice cream makes everything better. She taught me its the nectar of the angels. And I believe her. Please, don't make me reject my mother," I say.
Wow, that man is persuasive. We went for a run. And we didn't get ice cream. Well doggone it if he wasn't right. And you know I hate when he's right, and rarely admit it. I turned my Ipod to the most offensive music I own, turned it up full blast and ran my little legs off. I felt so much better! Who cares how crappy work was?! Who cares how mean that lady was?! All that mattered was I sweat it out, I ran it out, and I felt ah-mazing.
Maybe moms don't always have all the answers. (Just don't tell MY "daughter" that. She still thinks I know it all. And I'm going to hang on to that for as long as possible.)
But honestly, its something I don't understand. To say my relationship with my mom is complicated is an understatement. There are times I think we couldn't be more different. Then I think we couldn't be more alike. I love her. I genuinely do. I just wish....well, I wish a lot of things. However that's another very long post for a very long blog.
That mother of mine, she did teach me some invaluable lessons. She taught me to always wear a nude bra when wearing a white shirt. Uber important and more women need to learn that lesson. She taught me hitting my sister doesn't end the argument, it escalates it. Mom taught me her incredibly delicious potato salad recipe. Its top secret so don't even ask for it. But most importantly, she taught me ice cream heals all wounds.
Tuesday was one of the worst days I've ever had at my current job. I literally went to the bathroom, sat on the floor and cried. I don't believe in crying at work; it gets you no where. But that day, it couldn't be helped. So I wallowed in self pity for as long as I could without getting in trouble, dusted myself off, and did my job. Then 9:30 came around and I knew what I needed to do: walk straight to Cold Stone, order me a Gotta Have It sized Birthday Cake remix and watch my problems melt away.
But no.....my loving husband had another idea. "Let's go for a run," he says to me with a completely straight face. "Let's do what? Oh no, I don't even think so," is my delicate reply. He proceeds to tell me how it'll make me feel better. "I have rejected 95% of what my mama taught me. But if there is one thing I'm going to hold onto, its that ice cream makes everything better. She taught me its the nectar of the angels. And I believe her. Please, don't make me reject my mother," I say.
Wow, that man is persuasive. We went for a run. And we didn't get ice cream. Well doggone it if he wasn't right. And you know I hate when he's right, and rarely admit it. I turned my Ipod to the most offensive music I own, turned it up full blast and ran my little legs off. I felt so much better! Who cares how crappy work was?! Who cares how mean that lady was?! All that mattered was I sweat it out, I ran it out, and I felt ah-mazing.
Maybe moms don't always have all the answers. (Just don't tell MY "daughter" that. She still thinks I know it all. And I'm going to hang on to that for as long as possible.)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Weight ain't nothin' but a number.....
Scales are bad! They make you feel bad about yourself. I think there is some sort of government conspiracy behind them. I'm just not sure how to prove it.
Supposedly, the ideal weight for a woman of my age and my height is 140. I think I literally laughed out loud at that. The minimum is 115, the maximum is 159. Ouch, that hurt! So I've got a ways to go before I'm at the "maximum". And seriously? 115? I'd be a bobblehead doll for sure. That doesn't seem even remotely healthy. But at least I have something to strive for. 140 here I come! Oh wait, that would require me to use a scale. Since I'm boycotting them, that's a problem. Yay me, there are lots of ways out there to calculate how fat I am!
Recent research says that a woman's waist should not be above 35 inches. Ideally, a woman's waist should be 30 inches or less. Oh dear. That is definitely going to be a problem. Have you ever taken one of those tape measure thingys and made a circle that's only 30 inches? Its so freakin tiny! Recently on The Talk, Sara Gilbert said her waist is 24 inches! What the.... I'm pretty sure she's not human.
I need a way to track progress, so I've decided to go with measurements. So I'll start with Bust. Now that number is not too bad. I wouldn't mind going down in inches. However this is the area that most women lose weight first and that's not always a good thing. But not too bad.
Now, on to Waist. Um, that number can't be correct. Maybe I should re-measure. I'm going to try at the smallest part of my waist. Which is where??? Maybe its under that roll. Oh yeah, there it is! And that did not help. I'm getting discouraged.
Let's just move on to hips. Holy mother of Gumby, that is not good. That is Kardashian-esque. Aren't they supposed to be hot? Does that mean I'm hot? Do I have to start spelling everything with a K now? That seems kontemptible and konvoluted. This did not go quite as I expected. Now what?
Time for the positive spin! (My hubby will be so proud.) I've got a starting point! There's only one way to go from here. Up! No, wait, down. Ok, whatever. There's only one way to go: skinnier. I kan do this!
Has anyone else done their measurements and been kompletely disappointed? If so, fill me in!
We are moving on to week 3 of "Couch to 5k"! It starts getting hard from now on. I'll be sure to fill you in on that koming up soon!
Supposedly, the ideal weight for a woman of my age and my height is 140. I think I literally laughed out loud at that. The minimum is 115, the maximum is 159. Ouch, that hurt! So I've got a ways to go before I'm at the "maximum". And seriously? 115? I'd be a bobblehead doll for sure. That doesn't seem even remotely healthy. But at least I have something to strive for. 140 here I come! Oh wait, that would require me to use a scale. Since I'm boycotting them, that's a problem. Yay me, there are lots of ways out there to calculate how fat I am!
Recent research says that a woman's waist should not be above 35 inches. Ideally, a woman's waist should be 30 inches or less. Oh dear. That is definitely going to be a problem. Have you ever taken one of those tape measure thingys and made a circle that's only 30 inches? Its so freakin tiny! Recently on The Talk, Sara Gilbert said her waist is 24 inches! What the.... I'm pretty sure she's not human.
I need a way to track progress, so I've decided to go with measurements. So I'll start with Bust. Now that number is not too bad. I wouldn't mind going down in inches. However this is the area that most women lose weight first and that's not always a good thing. But not too bad.
Now, on to Waist. Um, that number can't be correct. Maybe I should re-measure. I'm going to try at the smallest part of my waist. Which is where??? Maybe its under that roll. Oh yeah, there it is! And that did not help. I'm getting discouraged.
Let's just move on to hips. Holy mother of Gumby, that is not good. That is Kardashian-esque. Aren't they supposed to be hot? Does that mean I'm hot? Do I have to start spelling everything with a K now? That seems kontemptible and konvoluted. This did not go quite as I expected. Now what?
Time for the positive spin! (My hubby will be so proud.) I've got a starting point! There's only one way to go from here. Up! No, wait, down. Ok, whatever. There's only one way to go: skinnier. I kan do this!
Has anyone else done their measurements and been kompletely disappointed? If so, fill me in!
We are moving on to week 3 of "Couch to 5k"! It starts getting hard from now on. I'll be sure to fill you in on that koming up soon!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Fatty, meet Skinny
Fatty McButterpants is a great friend of mine. I've truly enjoyed the times we've spent together. Its been great and delicious. Skinny McSkinnerson used to be a friend of mine. But she disappeared. Honestly, I think Fatty might have eaten her.
Skinny and I used to hang out all the time. To steal a line from Forest Gump, we were like peas and carrots. But then we gradually drifted apart. I'm not sure what exactly the turning point was, but one day she disappeared. And then I discovered my true love: everything that is bad for me. Donuts, cheese, white bread, chocolate, ice cream, Velveeta, pastries, chocolate! I didn't leave out chocolate, did I? I guess Skinny wasn't too big of a fan of all that.
I also met two things very special to me: my couch and my DVR. What?! I missed the last 2 episodes of Tori and Dean Home Sweet Hollywood?! I must sit here for the next 2 hours and watch them. Good thing my DVR knows to record these shows for me.
Well, I need to ditch Fatty and reacquaint myself with Skinny. Time to get back in shape. Oh wait a minute, I was never IN shape. Now, I've always been A shape. I'd probably classify my former self as a rectangle back when Skinny and I were friends. Now, I'd go with more of a circle. Skinny came so easily to me. I didn't have to bat an eye. But then one day, Fatty came even easier. Maybe that's just life. But I'm no longer satisfied with that life.
So now I'm more determined than ever to get Skinny back in my life. I think..... Ok, maybe I'm determined to be determined. That might be more like it. I'm going to set some goals!
1. Be able to run. (without hurting myself)
2. Work my way up to a 5k by summer. (terrified!!!)
3. Do the Warrior Dash July 30. (also without hurting myself)
4. 10k! (hyperventilating)
5. Half-marathon (I think I'm changing my mind now)
Oh there should probably be other goals along the way. I should probably even start with smaller goals. But I'm not that bright. I've actually been exercising 3-4 times a week for about 6 weeks. That's a good start, right? And I plan on eating better. Someday I'll get to that. Tomorrow? Okay, today. (insert sad trumpet music here) Wait! Its Easter time! I know I don't celebrate it but come on! Cadbury Cream Eggs!!! Chocolate Bunnies!!! Peeps!!!! Hold on, I need to wipe the drool off my keyboard.
I thought maybe if I blog this, it will keep me motivated. And it gives me an outlet to vent. Any encouragement or inspiration is welcome and needed! Any criticism you can post on your own blog. :)
Here we go! Its so going to be a bumpy ride!
Skinny and I used to hang out all the time. To steal a line from Forest Gump, we were like peas and carrots. But then we gradually drifted apart. I'm not sure what exactly the turning point was, but one day she disappeared. And then I discovered my true love: everything that is bad for me. Donuts, cheese, white bread, chocolate, ice cream, Velveeta, pastries, chocolate! I didn't leave out chocolate, did I? I guess Skinny wasn't too big of a fan of all that.
I also met two things very special to me: my couch and my DVR. What?! I missed the last 2 episodes of Tori and Dean Home Sweet Hollywood?! I must sit here for the next 2 hours and watch them. Good thing my DVR knows to record these shows for me.
Well, I need to ditch Fatty and reacquaint myself with Skinny. Time to get back in shape. Oh wait a minute, I was never IN shape. Now, I've always been A shape. I'd probably classify my former self as a rectangle back when Skinny and I were friends. Now, I'd go with more of a circle. Skinny came so easily to me. I didn't have to bat an eye. But then one day, Fatty came even easier. Maybe that's just life. But I'm no longer satisfied with that life.
So now I'm more determined than ever to get Skinny back in my life. I think..... Ok, maybe I'm determined to be determined. That might be more like it. I'm going to set some goals!
1. Be able to run. (without hurting myself)
2. Work my way up to a 5k by summer. (terrified!!!)
3. Do the Warrior Dash July 30. (also without hurting myself)
4. 10k! (hyperventilating)
5. Half-marathon (I think I'm changing my mind now)
Oh there should probably be other goals along the way. I should probably even start with smaller goals. But I'm not that bright. I've actually been exercising 3-4 times a week for about 6 weeks. That's a good start, right? And I plan on eating better. Someday I'll get to that. Tomorrow? Okay, today. (insert sad trumpet music here) Wait! Its Easter time! I know I don't celebrate it but come on! Cadbury Cream Eggs!!! Chocolate Bunnies!!! Peeps!!!! Hold on, I need to wipe the drool off my keyboard.
I thought maybe if I blog this, it will keep me motivated. And it gives me an outlet to vent. Any encouragement or inspiration is welcome and needed! Any criticism you can post on your own blog. :)
Here we go! Its so going to be a bumpy ride!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)